Aftermath
by Tawny-Fern
Summary: (Post-HTTYD2) Hiccup faces his fears and guilt following the events of the second film. Hiccstrid.


**Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. Everything else belongs to the folks at Dreamworks, the lucky bastards.**

**It kind of bothers me that Hiccup was so reluctant to become chief at the beginning of HTTYD2 but just accepts the role with no qualms at the end. So I made him face that. Among other things.**

Hiccup's first act as the new chief of Berk was, quite literally, to do nothing. The sun was going down on the small island as Hiccup had been crowned by Gothi and Hiccup had chosen to wait until the new day to begin the extensive repairs that the village would need. There was not enough daylight left to begin anything, so Hiccup had simply told the people of Berk to go home or to the Great Hall to sleep and get ready for work in the morning. For now, they would do nothing.

And, really, Hiccup was kind of relieved. The weight of the past days had been increasingly pressing for the past several hours, a weight which he had managed to almost completely ignore… even when his father saved him. He'd pushed it away so he could fight for his people and for his dragons, but now, after everything had seemed to settle down and the battle was over, he could feel the ache of emotion begin to fill his chest.

He paused for a moment, cringing as he watched the villagers scurry about, trying to salvage some of their possessions or food before heading off to sleep in the Great Hall for the night (and, perhaps, many more nights to come). His eyes automatically sought out one person in particular… until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

Upon seeing who it was, his shoulders dropped, guilt washing over him. He couldn't meet her eyes. "Hi, mom."

"Hiccup…" Valka paused, her eyes filling with so many emotions that Hiccup could barely begin to discern any single one. "I'm.. I'm so proud of you. You truly handled Drago the way any chief would, your father included. He would be proud, too." She smiled.

"Thanks, mom." He replied, voice almost flat. _Don't think about dad don't think about dad don't think-_

"Hiccup!" A new voice, again from behind him. He turned, grateful for any distraction, but especially for this one. Astrid came running up to him. "We've got the dragons in the stables; Toothless is going to look after them all for tonight. All the villagers whose homes are gone are in the Great Hall and everyone else has found a place to sleep."

"Thanks, Astrid." Hiccup answered. He was truly thankful for her help. After he had declared the plans, or, in this case, the lack of them, for the night, Astrid, seeing that Hiccup was exhausted, had taken over organizing the villagers without asking. Hiccup had only had to supervise, which was fine with him.

"Well, I suppose I'll head into the Hall now," Valka murmured. "Goodnight, darling." She hugged Hiccup and, after a slight hesitation, Astrid, who hugged her back. Hiccup watched her go before turning his attention back to the now-empty destroyed village.

"Hiccup?" Astrid said from his side in a low voice that was close to whisper. She placed her on his shoulder where his mother's hand had been mere minutes before. "Do you want to be alone?"

"I…. _no_. Stay with me, Astrid.. please." He murmured, turning to her with a pained look on his face.

She nodded, sympathy on her face. "I'm going to go fetch some blankets from the Hall. I'll be right back, okay?" She kissed his cheek and headed off.

He immediately missed her. If not her warmth and words, her mere presence seemed to distract him from the weight of his losses and the wall of pain that he now faced. Hiccup knew he couldn't ignore it forever; something was going to break soon. He stared intently at the ocean until his girlfriend returned, two thick woolen blankets in hand. He led her over to a more sheltered spot and spread out a blanket for the pair to sit on.

Astrid settled down onto the blanket. "You sure you don't want to head up to the Great Hall? They've got some fish cooking, and Gobber brought out the mead in your honor." She laughed lightly.

Hiccup smiled faintly at the thought of Gobber being drunk at a time like this –not that that was unusual- but it slid from his face almost instantly. "Yeah. I just want to be alone for a while."

"Guess I'll go, then." Astrid joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"C'mere, you." Her boyfriend muttered, and pulled her against his chest, sighing. He pressed his lips into her hair, breathing it its familiar smell. Astrid wrapper her arms around his chest, giving him comfort in any way she could. They sat in silence, Hiccup mulling over the previous days.

Ensconced in the safety of Astrid's arms, Hiccup drew a deep breath and finally allowed himself to feel. The stress and pain and _guilt_ of the past hours and days washed over him at last, filling his chest and leaving him short of breath. He gasped for air, causing Astrid to look up in concern. Her expression told him she understood what he was feeling at once.

"Why did he- why did he have to do that?" he cried, too quiet for anyone but Astrid to hear.

"He loved you, Hiccup. He would never let you get hurt like… that." She murmured, tightening her grip around him.

"He's the chief! It's his duty to protect everyone… not just me! But he died for me!"

"He was your father first, Hiccup. Even the chief has loyalties that lie above the whole village."

"Well he shouldn't have! He had a responsibility to look after the village, and now he's gone. He shouldn't have died.

"Hiccup…" she whispered desperately.

"No, Astrid. He shouldn't have died. _Not for me_."

She froze against him, hurt and terror and anger flashing through her eyes like lightning. After a few long moments, the anger took over and she slid away from him, her glare fiery. "Don't you say that, Hiccup! Stoick _loved_ you. He would have done anything for you. Don't say that it wasn't worth it, because it was to him. That was his choice." She was close to yelling now, her voice dangerous.

He watched her, expression starting to crack as she spoke. Pausing, she slid back over to him. "_You_ were his choice, Hiccup. You're his _son_. Don't… don't feel guilty. He _loved_ you."

He stared at her, letting her words sink in and take hold until he believed her, and only then did he finally allow himself to cry. Astrid wrapped him her arms, stroking his hair as he cried against her shoulder. "Astrid," he choked out.

"Shh, Hiccup," she soothed. "We all loved him, too. We'll all miss him…. _I'll_ miss him." Her own eyes teared up as she thought of Berk's brave former chief, always good for advice and excellent at protecting the village. "But… everything is going to be okay. We'll be okay, and so will the village."

"Astrid, I'm not even ready!" Hiccup cried abruptly, sitting up and furiously wiping the tears from his face. He turned away, voice to dropping to the point where she could barely make it out. "I… I'm not even sure if I want to be the chief."

She had no reply to this. He had, of course, made his opinion about being chief quite clear, but that was before everything that happened. He hadn't had time to learn much of anything about being chief before Stoick had passed, but could he really refuse the title despite his own misgivings? Could Berk survive without a clear chief?

"I'm so _scared_, Astrid. The only thing I know anything about is dragons, training them and working with them. That's all I've ever done, really, that and working in the forge. But that's all I ever wanted to do, work with dragons. But if I have to be chief… I have to give that up. I won't have time for the academy, training, or any of the dragons, really… not even Toothless." He turned back to her, the tears resurfacing in his eyes. "How could I _do _that?"

She opened her mouth to reassure him but he cut her off with another worry. "And it's not like I really know anything about ruling Berk, either." He said, voice cracking. "I never learned! I don't know how to organize and village or, _Gods_, how to work alongside another village. I don't know anything a chief should know, or-"

Here, she stopped him. "Hiccup, you _do_ know about diplomacy, maybe better than your father did. You're the peacekeeper, and that's what Berk needs, peace. You know exactly how to keep Berk safe."

"But how can _I _run a village all alone?" he whimpered, lost in his own worry and grief.

"Hey," she wrapped her fingers around his chin, forcing him to look up into her eyes. "_You are not alone_. You have the whole village, you have your mom, Gobber, the Riders… you have me. You're not alone, Hiccup; I'm beside you. I'll help you. Always." He drew a deep breath, muscles finally relaxing. Slowly, he nodded, the tension and worry falling from his face. He knew he would face many challenges as the new chief, but the worst of his fears had left him at last.

"Thank you," he whispered after a time. He reached over a pulled the second blanket around them before tugging Astrid against his chest and burying his face in her crown.

She reached up and gently punched his arm. "That's for doubting yourself." Stretching up, she pressed her lips to the slight smile forming on Hiccup's face. "That's for everything else."

She settled back against him. "Hiccup, everything will be okay. I promise."

And then, to him, everything was.


End file.
